


don't wanna be alone

by Enochianess



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Experimental Style, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 17:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20450840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enochianess/pseuds/Enochianess
Summary: "Where in the fucking hell are you?" Mickey whisper shouts."I don't know, Mick," Ian says, his voice cracked to hell. "I don't know what's happening."or: bipolar disorder sucks, but Ian and Mickey are dealing with it together





	don't wanna be alone

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know what this is, I'm not sure I even like it, but I seem to have entered a bad phase with my bipolar disorder and writing about it is the only thing that helps me cope. Hopefully some time soon I'll write something half decent.

T H I S I S G O I N G T O B E D I S J O I N T E D

Ian doesn't know where he is.

He remembers being sat in the Milkovich living room. He remembers watching the television, but not really seeing, just... watching blankly while he bounced his leg up and down and up and down.

There's an itch beneath his skin, even now.

_Look around you. What can you see? What's familiar?_

He's on the North Side, he can tell that much.

He walks.

T I C K T O C K G O E S T H E G R A N D F A T H E R C L O C K

His cell rings and he doesn't know why he didn't think of it earlier.

The sun is barely rising, but there are some lights on in the houses now. People are getting up to start their day. What day is it?

Ian answers the call and puts the phone to his ear.

"Where in the fucking hell are you?" Mickey whisper shouts.

"I don't know, Mick," Ian says, his voice cracked to hell. "I don't know what's happening."

Mickey falls silent on the other side, and then, a deep sigh and a muttered, "Fuck."

"You been taking your meds?" Mickey asks.

"I- I think so."

"You think or you know? There's a very important difference there, Ian."

The itch beneath his skin is getting worse, worse, worse. "I- I think I had a blackout or something. I don't- remember."

"Okay..." Mickey mumbles. "Fuck. It's going to be fine. It'll be okay."

"Mick, what's happening?"

"I don't know, but we're gonna get you some help. Get your meds changed or whatever. Just... can you send me your location, so I can come find you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I can do that."

G O I N G D O W W W W N

"You've had a psychotic episode, Ian."

"No shit," Mickey mutters.

If Ian had the energy, he would've elbowed him or something.

"So, what now?" Ian asks.

"Well, we want to avoid hospitalisation as much as possible. If you feel that you're not a danger to yourself or others, there's no need. So, we'll get you started on some new meds, monitor you closely, and see how things go."

Ian looks at Mickey. Mickey looks... just as devastated as he did the last time they were at the clinic.

A N N I E A R E W E O K A Y A R E W E O K A Y A N N I E

"You don't have to stick around, you know," Ian says to Mickey on the drive home, forehead leaning on the glass.

Mickey brakes and pulls to the side of the road. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Ian turns to look at his boyfriend. "It's not what you signed up for, I know that."

"I didn't sign up for any of this shit," Mickey snorts.

Ian looks away, but only for a moment before Mickey turns his face back towards him. 

"You didn't sign up for it either," Mickey says gently, "but you're dealing with it, so I will too. We're in this together, Ian. You get that? I'm not leaving you alone in this."

"So... we're okay?"

"Yeah, man. We're okay."

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](http://enochianess.tumblr.com) and on [twitter](http://twitter.com/buckyandsteeb)
> 
> If you liked it, please leave kudos or comments!


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